1. |
Change
00:44
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nothing is permanent my dear
change is all we have
embrace the uncertainty my dear
and live while you can
and through it all there is a love that will not die
in a home with a door opened wide
go inside
you'll find
a new piece of yourself
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2. |
Come Find Me
01:00
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these gizmos these gadgets
a new one every day
these whozits these whatzits
destruction in its wake
you know i don't have the mind for it
i know you don't have the heart for it
as isolation sets in i become obsolete
fade into the woodwork where i feel complete
at the end of the day you'll be alone
but not i, come find me in the groundhogs hole
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3. |
High Rock
01:15
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the cloud shadows on the mountain range
look like god spilled her coffee mug and graced the trees with shade
all creatures drink it in before it floats away
even the clouds move too fast for me these days
up on the high rock i can see miles below
the ragged winged vulture soars at my eye level
there's blueberries clinging to the side of the cliff
the bear scat tells me i am not the only one enjoying this
i've been waiting for a day like today
where the breeze comes and takes my breath away
for once my thoughts grow still
is this how the bear feels?
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4. |
Maggot's Song
01:24
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i spent time with god today in the form of a fawn called maggot
shes got spots on her fur, eyelashes ten feet long, and nibbling teeth
off to a rough start with a chomp from the bobcat'
she decided to live
crooked head and all
with no mother to guide her just instincts
and humans who don't know anything
and a dog who knows everything
she says i'm gonna live free
don't hold me
i'm gonna live free
you get to be next to me
this moment is the only container i'm in
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5. |
Mother Outlaw
02:54
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there you on the shelf above the workbench
in a urn given to those survived by you (he did survive you)
and it's true what phil said, in the dust there's chunks of bone
sneaking a gaze in i have a weird temptation to touch you
when i was a little girl at my great grandma's funeral
i wore a fancy black hat with a veil
i asked my mom if i could touch the hand
she said yes but when we got to the coffin, i practically ran
i was scared, but i also wanted to stare
at death
and there you sit on the shelf above the workbench
my awareness of you tugs at the hem of my shirt unceasingly
never legally married makes you mother outlaw
i talk with you more now
and you make more sense somehow
i guess they don't have vodka in the afterlife
and there you sit on the shelf above the workbench
i suppose a day will come when he'll set you free
in the meantime, i can live with you
while you collect dust upon your dust
i will hear you
i'll hear your smoker's laugh
and your language crass
i'll hear you yell at the dogs
i'll hear you cry when your son leaves
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6. |
Renters
03:28
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tearing down the curtain i'd made from old bedsheets
it kept out the sunlight from my apothecary
for 4 years we lived here
never owners, just renters, but we made it our own
you are good at making cold spaces feel like home
while acknowledging the large oak stump on the side of the house
a tree that no longer lives on the side of the house
where i found reishi mushrooms
we had a friend visit not too long ago
he made the stump the site of his morning meditation
as sirens roared up and down OBT
because that's norm
a couple of blocks from here is an ambulance posting
i've spent many hours napping there
up at the wawa where they hand out free coffee
to those in uncomfortable uniforms
one christmas morning you asked me to open the blind
and much to my surprise
hanging above the stump a new cedar bird feeder
luring cardinals to me
making me feel just a little more free
for one long month i was gone on the other side of the world
30 hours of plane traveling
and when i returned i learned what our house really smells like
you never know 'les you've been gone awhile
and i liked it very much
like campfires, onions, aromatic plants, and such
goodbye to this house
the awful neighbors never knew they paid our waterbill
goodbye to this house
you were never ours but we made you our own
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7. |
Bump
00:45
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the gel was cold on my boob, my lumpy boob
the tech measured lymph on the screen that showed my armpit
driving home i saw a sign that said "bump"
bump in the road, bump in my chest
there are things that go bump in the night
driving home i saw a sign that said "bump"
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8. |
Pine Pop Palace
02:10
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it's night, the lanterns shine bright
in the house that we built
it rains, we're amazed that we're dry
the wind blows and the roof it stays
no chord could express the joy i feel in our home
and it's not because it's cute
not because it's in the woods, by a mimosa tree
not because of spring water
it's because of you
and our dog too
years ago, homeless together
we slept on the roof
of that old atlanta milk factory underneath the snow moon
we knew that life is precious, if you don't play it safe
the more you try to secure it, the less it means something
so i don't need much my dear
i hope we get many many years
i'll sit with you at the table we built and talk about anything
no chord could express the joy i feel in our home
and it's not because it's cute
not because it's in the woods, by a mimosa tree
not because of spring water
it's because of you
and our dog too
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9. |
3 Steps Back
01:57
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i will give you space to be, i love how you see things
one step back, i separate myself from you
two steps back, i gain perspective
three steps back, i can see you clearly and i can finally feel you near me
a sycamore cannot grow in the shade of an oak
so stand apart and grow tall
cheer on as the seeds fall
into the silent memory of god
i will give you space to be, i love how you see things
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10. |
Roadkill
01:35
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in this small corner of the world
roads wind through the oldest mountains
i find it quaint and comforting that when i drive past another car
i'm expected to wave
as if there's lots of time in the day
the big trucks are intruding transporting internet, propane, and wood
progress barrels on, bulldozing all that's good
every week i nearly die
as a semi truck on the other side of the road rounds a corner
and hangs it's tail in my lane
may it happen where there's a shoulder, this i pray
i wouldn't be surprised if our souls joined with the deer
who's meat is sustaining us this year
victims of vehicular homicide
i wonder
who will utilize my hide
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11. |
Return Policy
02:15
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for 13 days i had a smart phone
it was the same price as a flip
i thought it might be nice to send pictures or look at a map
but for 13 days i felt like crap
everyone said, "it's just what you gotta do"
everyone said, "there's no going back"
everyone said, "don't worry you'll get used to it"
the voice in my head screamed i'm not okay with that
it kept on asking me for more information
consolidating in the what folks call a cloud
i kept on wondering am i just paranoid?
no one else seems alarmed
everyone said, "it's just what you gotta do"
everyone said, "there's no going back"
everyone said, "don't worry you'll get used to it"
the voice in my head screamed i'm not okay with that
friends have been noticing their conversation topics
showing up on a facebook feed
marketing through phones listening
seems it's just the beginning
it shouldn't come as a surprise when we willingly scan our eyes
oh if you've got nothing to hide
everyone said, "it's just what you gotta do"
everyone said, "there's no going back"
everyone said, "don't worry you'll get used to it"
the voice in my head screamed i'm not okay with that
when i returned that devil i skipped out of the store
i text my mom using T9
i wish i lived in a world where clouds are fluff in the sky
and all the tony starks exist only in sci-fi
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12. |
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the roads are filled with old stubborn patriarchs
women white knuckled in the passenger seat
they rather risk their lives than be the one to tell him he's done
a silence learned very young
grandma barbara's advice to my mom on her wedding day:
"if you want something, you gotta make it his idea"
if you say black, he'll say white
if you say wrong, he'll say right
if you agree with him, he'll change his mind
and you'll lose your mind
our families are filled with old stubborn patriarchs
what will become of us when they're gone?
will we memorialize them in falsities?
will we forget where they went wrong?
i would like you more without your pride
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13. |
Insomnia
01:09
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the mimosa tree has gone to sleep
leaves curled up to keep warm
but my thoughts they won't go to sleep
they stretch and they shift form
count the stars count the sheep
picture all the mountain peaks full of snoozing bear and salamander
coyote stalks his prey tonight
half moon sheds the perfect light
not too dark and not too bright
the conditions are just right
thinking of you thinking of me
thinking of lydia's bad week
that door at work, i forgot to lock it
who will see my mistake in the morning
is that a wood thrush i hear?
there's that wren singing his song so clear
daylight comes with eyes still open
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14. |
Night Vision
00:38
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i am strengthening the rods of my retina
so i can see in the dark
i am one with the dark
move through the night of the new moon
stars shine bright in the dark blue
i see the shapes of the trees, the path in front of me
with the rods of my retina, i don't need
a flashlight to see
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